3 Steps to Resolving Conflict
After years of sitting across from people in boardrooms, kitchen tables, and Zoom calls -I can tell you this: conflict is not the problem. It’s what we do with it that makes or breaks relationships. Whether it’s in the workplace, between family members, or among community groups, conflict is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to be destructive.
Here are the 3 steps to resolving conflict that I use in mediation -practical, honest, and focused on long-term outcomes.
What Are the 3 Steps of Conflict Resolution?
Step 1: Listen to understand.
This sounds simple, but it’s where most people go wrong. When emotions are running high, we tend to listen to argue or to have someone understand our point of view -not to understand the other person. Real listening means sitting down with each person, slowing the conversation down, and hearing their version of events without judgement or interruption. It’s about understanding not just the facts, but the impact. Sometimes conflict can get resolved by just listening to each other. You might hear something that you missed in previous conversations.
Step 2: Talk through the issues -respectfully and clearly.
When people are ready, I bring them together in a safe space. We name the key issues, give each person equal time to speak, and use clear, respectful language. No blaming and generalising. . No “you always” or “you never.” Just real conversation about what’s happened, what needs to change, and how you can get there. We look for solutions that are workable in real life -and we write them down so there’s no confusion later.
Step 3: Follow up and follow through.
This is the step people skip -and it’s the reason so many conflicts resurface. Resolution isn’t a one-off conversation. It needs time to settle, and people sometimes need support to stick to what was agreed. And if you fall off the wagon and something goes wrong just apologise and get back to doing what was agreed. Over time this will build trust and will rebuild the relationship.
What Are Three Ways to Resolve Conflict?
There are a few ways people try to resolve conflict -some work better than others, depending on the situation:
- Collaboration: working together to find a win-win outcome. This is the gold standard and usually the most sustainable.
- Compromise: meeting halfway. Each person gives a little to reach a middle ground. You both don’t get fully what you want but sometimes it is the only way to settle.
- Accommodation: one person steps back to keep the peace. Sometimes generous, but not a long-term fix if it keeps happening one way.
The best method depends on the people involved, the power dynamics, and the impact of the conflict. But collaboration, when possible, is where real resolution lives.
What Are the 3 C’s for Resolving a Conflict?
Here’s something I often share with clients especially teams and leaders:
- Communication: say what you mean, listen without cutting in, and avoid loaded language.
- Compromise: not every win needs to be a full one. Sometimes giving a little can unlock a lot.
- Collaboration: shift from “me vs you” to “us vs the problem.” This mindset changes everything.
Conflict isn’t easy, and it’s rarely tidy. But it doesn’t have to end in damaged relationships or lingering resentment. In my work, I’ve seen how much can shift when people feel genuinely heard and respected even when they don’t agree on everything. The three steps to resolving conflict aren’t just a framework they’re a way to slow things down, get to the heart of the issue, and create space for something better to emerge.
Sometimes it takes one good conversation to clear the air. Other times, it takes structure, support, and a bit of courage to face things head-on. Either way, resolution isn’t about being right, it’s about finding a way forward that people can live with, and hopefully grow from.
If you’re facing a conflict whether at home, in the workplace, or as part of a leadership team and you’re not sure how to move through it, you’re not alone. There is a path through. And you don’t have to navigate it on your own.
You’re welcome to book a free 15-minute phone consultation with us.We offer in-person mediation in Perth, as well as flexible online and phone mediation options.