Some people make work harder than it needs to be. Not because the job is difficult, but because of the way they act. Maybe it’s the co-worker who constantly takes credit for your ideas. Maybe it’s the one who gossips and stirs up drama, turning the office into a high school playground. Or maybe it’s the person who talks down to you, challenges everything you say, and makes you feel like you don’t belong.
If you’re dealing with someone like this, it’s exhausting. And it’s not just in your head. A toxic co-worker can make a job you once loved feel unbearable. You start dreading Mondays, watching what you say, and questioning yourself more than usual. It’s frustrating, unfair, and honestly, it can make you feel stuck.
You don’t have to just suffer through it. There are ways to handle it-ways that don’t involve quitting your job or bottling up your frustration until you explode. And one of the best tools you have? Workplace mediation.
Understand What You’re Dealing With
Not every difficult co-worker is toxic. Some people are just people that you don’t gel with, stubborn, or socially unaware. But if someone is consistently making work harder, pushing boundaries, or making you feel uncomfortable, it’s a bigger issue.
Some common types:
- The underminer, who subtly cuts you down, corrects you in meetings, or makes you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing.
- The credit stealer, who takes credit for group efforts but is nowhere to be found when it’s time to do the actual work.
- The gossip, who spreads rumours, pits people against each other, and creates an atmosphere of distrust.
- The energy vampire, who is constantly negative, always complaining, and never has anything good to say.
If you recognise any of these patterns, it’s not just “workplace personality differences.” It’s a real issue, and it’s okay to feel frustrated by it. It is always good to look at what you might be contributing to the situation and if you are able to change the way you do things to make a situation better. But you do not have to put up with other people behaving badly.
Stop Trying to Fix Them
It’s tempting to think that if you just phrase things the right way, they’ll realise how they’re behaving and stop. They won’t.
Toxic people don’t change because someone points out their behaviour. If anything, they double down. Instead of trying to fix them, focus on how you’re healing and how you respond. That’s where your real power is.
Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy
You can’t control what they do, but you can control how much access they have to your thoughts, emotions, and energy.
- Limit interactions. If you don’t have to work closely with them, don’t. Keep conversations short and professional.
- Don’t take the bait. Toxic people love a reaction. If they’re trying to get under your skin, the best response is no response.
- Use neutral language. If they make a snide remark, reply with something bland like “Noted” or “Let’s move forward.” It shuts down the drama without giving them an opening.
Think of it like an invisible shield. You can’t stop them from being difficult, but you can decide how much of it actually gets to you.
Start Keeping Records
If this person is making your job harder, twisting your words, or trying to get you in trouble, keep track of it. This isn’t about being petty-it’s about protecting yourself.
- Save emails and messages.
- Take notes after conversations.
- Keep track of incidents, including dates, details, and who was there.
If things ever escalate to HR or your manager, having facts instead of feelings will make a huge difference.
Ask for Mediation Before It Gets Worse
A lot of people avoid bringing up workplace issues because they don’t want to seem like they’re complaining. But asking for mediation isn’t complaining-it’s problem-solving.
If a co-worker’s behaviour is affecting your ability to do your job, your manager or HR team needs to know. And mediation isn’t about pointing fingers or “getting someone in trouble.” It’s about creating a structured conversation where both people can be heard, boundaries can be set, and a way forward can be agreed on. The other person might also have issues with how you do things and mediation can be a great way to clear it all up.
Mediation works because:
- It is a safe place to have difficult conversations that you might not feel comfortable having on your own.
- It helps clear up misunderstandings before they turn into much bigger conflicts.
- It gives both people a say, instead of one person feeling powerless.
- You can make agreements which you can both stick to and also talk about accountability in keeping these agreements.
Most workplaces would rather resolve an issue through mediation than deal with the fallout of ongoing tension or someone quitting. If you’re nervous about bringing it up, you don’t have to go in with a full speech. Just something simple like:
“I’ve been having ongoing issues with [co-worker’s name], and it’s affecting my ability to focus on work. I think mediation could help us find a way to work together better. Is that something we can organise?”
That one step can shift everything.
Know When It’s Time to Move On
Mediation can work wonders, but it only works if both people are willing to participate in good faith. If your co-worker refuses to change or your workplace doesn’t take it seriously, it might be time to ask yourself whether this job is worth it.
If the stress of dealing with this person is affecting your mental health, your confidence, or your overall happiness, you deserve better. There’s no shame in leaving a toxic environment. Protecting your peace is more important than sticking it out just to prove you can handle it.
You Don’t Have to Put Up With This
If you’re dealing with a toxic co-worker, you’re not alone. Work is a huge part of life, and when someone makes it miserable, it takes a toll.
You don’t have to ignore it. You don’t have to put up with it in silence. And you don’t have to let it change the way you see yourself.
Hold your ground. Protect your energy. And don’t be afraid to ask for mediation. Work should be challenging because of the work itself not because of the people making it harder than it needs to be.