Parenting Orders in Australia: What You Need to Know

When parents separate, figuring out the best arrangements for children can be tricky.  When parents cannot come to agreements by themselves or in mediation parents can go to the Family Court to get Parenting Orders put in place. Parenting orders are a legally binding decision made by a court in Australia under the Family Law Act 1975. 

If you agree with your ex partner about the arrangements for your children between yourself or you agree in mediation then you can make your agreement legally binding by lodging Consent Orders. 

How Do Parenting Orders Work?

A parenting order is a decision made by the court when parents (or other caregivers) can’t agree on arrangements for their child. These orders cover key issues such as (but not limited to):

• Living Arrangements: Who the child will live with and when? This includes school holidays and special occasions such as Christmas. 
• Time with Parents and Others: How much time the child will spend with each parent or significant people like grandparents?
• Decision-Making: Who makes important decisions about the child’s education, health, and wellbeing?
• Communication: How the child stays in touch with the parent they don’t live with and how will the parents communicate with each other?
• Education: where do the kids go to school? 

Parenting orders can only be issued by the court. If you and the other parent can agree, you might create a parenting plan or apply for legally binding consent orders instead. Both options are less formal (and less stressful) than going to court.

If you want more information about what parenting plans are, what do people mean when they talk about the best interest of the child, or to find out what kind of services you can use as separated parents such as mediation or child contact services, have a look at  the Attorney-General’s website for more information. 

What are good agreements for your family?

When we help facilitate conversations about which parent will spend time with the children, we tell the parents that they are the expert on their children. Often people ask us what is ‘normal’. My question back  is always, normal to who?  What is going to work for your family depends entirely on the situation .What are the ages of the children, what kind of involvement did both parents have before separation, where will everyone live after separation and so much more. There is no one size fits all answer. 

What’s important is finding a balance that prioritises your children’s needs, making sure that they can have  a meaningful relationship with both parents and that the agreements are practical and can work in reality over an extended period of time. Relationships Australia has some great resources for parents looking for more information about spending time with children after separation. 

What Is an Example of a  Consent Order?

Let’s say Lisa and Mark want to avoid court but need a formal arrangement for their two children. They agree on the following:

• Living Arrangements: The kids live with Lisa one week and with Mark the next week. 
• Holidays and Special Days: Lisa and Mark take turns with Christmas, Easter, and school holidays.
• Decision-Making: Both parents share responsibility for decisions about schooling and medical care.
• Communication: The kids can call both parents when they want but the parent who does not have the children will call the children on Tuesday and Friday night at 6 pm.

This agreement is then turned into a consent order. Most people get these orders drafted by a lawyer and these orders are lodged together with a form 11.  If the court approves of the order they will stamp it and make it legally binding. The Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia and the Family court of Western Australia websites contain information on how to lodge paperwork with the family court. Be mindful that when you are in Western Australia that you use the Family Court of Western Australia website. If you are in other states go to the Federal Circuit court and Family court of Australia website. 

What is another way of resolving your parental conflict? 

If you are just separated it might be useful to make arrangements for the short term and not try to resolve everything at once. Parents and children need to adjust to the separation and it is great if you can put agreements in place to avoid conflict arrising but also not set it all in stone while you have not tried out these agreement. 

Matt and Sophie’s Story (these are fictional characters but cases like this happen all the time. We just cannot share them due to confidentiality).
Matt and Sophie split up after 12 years together. They have two kids, Alex (10) and Mia (8), and initially struggled to agree on parenting arrangements. Sophie wanted the kids to stay in one home for stability, while Matt preferred a shared-week approach to maximise his time with them.

Instead of heading straight to court, they worked with a mediator from Life Mediation. Through open discussions, they agreed the kids would live with Sophie during the school week and spend weekends with Matt in the short term while everyone adjusted to the new situation. They agreed to share the school holidays and special occasions equally. They also agreed on how decisions would be shared, especially for schooling and health. They kept this agreement as a parenting plan as they wanted to test out how this agreement would work for the children and themselves as parents in reality. Nobody had  lived being separated before yet and they wanted to give the kids time to adjust and both parents to have some space to heal before working out the long term parenting arrangements. 

After a year they came back to mediation and agreed upon a schedule that would build  up to sharing the children equally between both parents  during the school week. They agreed this would be achieved over a period of 12 months. 

This agreement was turned into a consent order, giving both parents peace of mind that their roles were clear and legally supported.

What worked for Matt and Sophie? They kept the focus on Alex and Mia, listened to each other’s concerns, tried out the agreements, adjusted to the separation before making final decisions and were willing to negotiate with each other.

Why Do So Many Families Choose Mediation First?

Court should always be the last resort when it comes to resolving parenting disputes. Here’s why mediation often works better:

• Autonomy: Families can create solutions tailored to their unique circumstances. You make the decision in mediation they are not made for you. 
• It’s Less Stressful: Sitting down with a trained mediator is far less intimidating than a courtroom, plus a mediator will work with your schedule. A court just gives you dates when to attend. 
• It Saves Time and Money: Mediation is a lot quicker and more affordable than court proceedings.
• It Puts Kids First: In mediation we focus on what is best for the children. Judges and magistrates also want what is best for the children. However, going through the court process is not a pleasant process and it often increases conflict between parents which has an impact on children. Research shows that separation is not harmful but ongoing conflict is,  which is why resolving your parenting matters early and without going to court is a much better way as it hopefully avoids long term entrenched conflict. 

At Life Mediation, our focus is on helping families rebuild with dignity and respect. Led by Lisanne Iriks, our experienced team works with parents to reduce conflict and find practical solutions.

If you’re considering mediation or need support with parenting arrangements, we’re here to help. Life Mediation offers compassionate guidance, ensuring the best outcomes for your family. Get in touch today to learn more.