Family mediation is a way for people who are having disagreements to sit down with a neutral person, called a mediator, to talk things through and try to come to an agreement. It’s especially helpful for families dealing with big decisions, like after parents separate, to figure out how things like living arrangements, time with the kids, and financial support will work.
Here’s a simple look at what happens in family mediation:
The Steps of Mediation
- Getting Started (The First Meeting):
Before the actual mediation begins, you’ll usually have a short meeting with the mediator on your own. This is called a pre-mediation session. It helps the mediator understand the situation, the issues at play, and whether mediation is the best way to go. You can ask any questions you have at this point. This first step helps everyone feel ready for the joint session. - Opening the Conversation:
When the real mediation begins, both sides sit down with the mediator. The mediator sets some ground rules to make sure everyone is respectful and calm. Then, each person gets a chance to explain how they see the situation, and what they think should happen next. The mediator listens carefully and makes sure both sides understand each other’s point of view. Mediation can look different ways, it does not mean you have to be in the same room. - Talking and Listening:
The heart of mediation is communication. The mediator helps guide the conversation between the two sides, making sure everyone gets a chance to speak and is heard. This can be about all sorts of issues—who the children will live with, when they’ll spend time with each parent, and how money should be shared. The mediator doesn’t take sides, but helps both parties understand what the other is feeling and thinking and will help generate options for resolving the issues at hand. - Private Chats:
Sometimes, if things get tense or if one person feels more comfortable talking privately, the mediator might have separate meetings with each person. These private chats help the mediator understand what each side really wants, coach each party privately and check is whether there are any concerns they don’t feel safe bringing up in the group session. - Finding Solutions:
Once everything is out in the open, the mediator helps both parties come up with ideas for solving the problem. Maybe it’s deciding who the kids stay with on weekends, or how money will be shared. It’s all about working together to find a solution that everyone can live with. The mediator cannot advice or tell either party what to do, it’s really up to the people in the dispute to agree on what works best for them. - Making an Agreement:
After all the talking, if everyone agrees on a solution, the mediator helps put that agreement into writing. This can be done in a parenting plan or mediated agreement. It’s not a legal document right away, but it can be made legally binding later if both sides want to. If there are lawyers at the mediation session it can be drafted into consent orders straight away. What’s great about mediation is that both people stay in control of the decisions. No judge tells them what to do—it’s all about what they’ve agreed on together which is ideal as parents are the experts on what is best for their families.
Why Family Mediation Helps
Mediation has a lot of benefits, especially for families:
- It’s Less Expensive: Going to court can be really expensive, but mediation costs less and gets things sorted faster if you go to a private mediator.
- It’s Less Stressful: Instead of battling in court, mediation lets people talk in a calmer setting, which can help lower stress levels for everyone, especially kids.
- It’s Private: What’s said in mediation stays confidential, meaning no one can use it later in court. This gives people the freedom to speak openly.
- More Control: You get to decide what’s best for your family, rather than having a judge make the decision for you.
- Flexible Solutions: Mediation lets families find creative solutions that work for everyone, not just what a court would order.
Why Should Families Choose Mediation?
Mediation is all about helping families work together, even when they don’t see eye-to-eye. It encourages better communication and helps families come up with plans that benefit everyone—especially children. Instead of a big fight in court, it’s a way to keep things peaceful and find a fair solution. Families can leave mediation feeling like they’ve been heard and have played a part in shaping their future.
If your family is facing tough decisions, mediation can make the process smoother and help you move forward in a positive way.
If you would like to find out more about family mediation contact us for a free consultation